Email Posted with permission of the Author
Hey Lauren,
I hope your break is going well!!
I know you're in Spain so I don't know if you're checking emails but can I get the student group application link so that I can just finish up the application and get this reservation confirmed? I'm worried we're actually going to lose it.
Thanks, see you soon!
****
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This email is a typical correspondence of a student who is trying to coordinate an event and is waiting on completion of a task. There are 5 divisions: the greeting, the personal message, the inquiry and explanation of the task, the closing, and the name sign-off. This email is written in a casual manner, with the use of exclamation points, the word "Hey," and a loose grammatical structure. The inquiry into the completion of the tasks has four clauses in one long run on sentence, showing the train-of-thought structure of the question. It also emphasizes the urgency that is felt in the situation and shows some of the frustration felt by the writer. She is unable to proceed from where she is, but would "just" like to finish up and close the situation.
Even in the casual format, courtesy is extended with starting the email with a personal inquiry, and giving notice of understanding of the situation which may have lead up to the task not being completed. The frustration is widespread, and not necessarily directed at me, but more at the general situation. The use of the word "just" implies an ongoing, drawn-out process that has been unnecessary, and the writer would like to conclude the saga.
It is interesting that the writing is clear and concise, except for the greeting at the beginning. There is a conflict between the friendliness of the double "!!" after the greeting, and the businesslike tone that the questioning takes. The relationship between the sender and recipient can be assumed to be a friendly one, but there are also elements of being colleagues, and working towards a goal. But the friendly relationship frames the conversation, giving the panicked middle a positive start and end; although, the ending has a bit more of the rushed feeling, with the comma splicing the two thoughts, "Thanks" and "see you soon" together.
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1 comment:
Lauren,
This is terrifically cogent work. Your anatomizing of the email into its 5 component parts perfectly captures the full scope of the message, even as your close reading goes into details at other, more focused levels. Technically, the second sentence is not a run-on, as it contains conjunctions yoking the clauses: "so," "but," "so" and "and," respectively. A run-on would be "I know you're in Spain I don't know if you're checking emails can I get" etc. This is a long sentence, though, and you're correct in noting how that breathlessness coveys urgency (and amazing lung capacity, were one to speak this). The grammatical error it contains is the one committed most frequently by college students: the comma splice. That is the joining of two sentences with a comma, this is not grammatically correct, this so-called sentence does it three times. Your attention to "just" is just perfect. (Welcome, belatedly, back from Spain.)
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